The worst bus ride

So, you have read about my crappy ay of forgetting my glasses and wasting a trip to Kwangju.

When I got to the bus station, everything seemed to be going my way. The cab driver gave me a discount, and I arrived at the bus station and bought a ticket one about one second before my bus was leaving. Yes!
I got on, and I quickly realized it was a horrible trick. The bus was full. Full. Three seats on the whole thing. And more people were piling on.
I sat next to an army guy, quite young, and he was really nice. He gave me cookies! He tried to talk, but the language barrier was too great, so conversation was not happening, which was too bad.
At the second stop, a whole bunch more people got on. Being young gentlemen, the soldier and I got up to give up our seats to some ajumas. ANyways, most of them got kicked off the bus, so it was a pointless gesture, but instead of taking my seat back, I got called to the back by some ajoshi (old man) who seemed friendly, so I took the seat.
Well, I have been reading a lot about ajoshis being drunk and gross and getting stuck next to them on the bus/subway/train, but until today, it had never happened to me. In truth, he was not drunk, but HAD clearly just finished off a two or three day bender, which i knew even before he attempted to brag to me about it.
His breath was atrocious, and he could not understand that did not understand Korean, no matter how many times he thumped his or my chest, or how many times he yelled the same phrase again louder. It didn't help that his breath was actually making my eyes water, and I was getting a bit of a headache from no glasses.
He pointed at the soldier, and said "Soldier" and I said "yeah," and tried to look enthusiastic, so as not to be rude, even though I had no interest in a conversation.
Then he said "History, Korea, you know?" I held up my hands and said "chigum" (a little), which was an exaggeration. Then he launched into a description of the Korean war and politics, I think, I don't know, because he was speaking Korean. And he got angry with me when i didn't understand.
It's frustrating, because he (as well as most Koreans Ihave been in this situation with), just talk louder when you don't understand, as though the greater volume will bring about an epiphone. And then there is the repitition of the one or two words you do over and over again, and you saying "yes, I understand", followed by a long string of words you don't know. Then, when you look puzzled, they repeat the word you know AGAIN, four or five times, and then launch into the same long string of words you do not know. Man!
Luckily, he got off about halfway, so I only had about 45 minutes of horrible breath and being manhandled (literally, he had his arm around me and was doing something to my love handle I can really only describe as "caressing").
Wow. But then I was home, and I could tape up my glasses and vent about it on the internet, so now all is right.

Who's an idiot and has two thumbs? This guy!

I feel like such an idiot right now.

Yesterday, my glasses broke. They can't be fixed, so I need to get new ones. Luckily glasses here range from $40 to $100, so it's not such a big deal.
My piano teacher recommended a place in Kwangju where I guess she gets her glasses, so I came there today. That's a 1.5 hour bus ride.
Anyways, I got here, went to the place, had communication issues, of course, where the eye exam was followed by questions about my physical condition (not good) AND my glasses (broken).
The exam was clearly not going well, and they asked if I had my old glasses, because they could get the prescription from that. At which point I nearly jumped out the window, because I remembered that I had left them at home.
So, now I'm in a PC bang spending time for no reason just so that my trip here will not have been a total waste. Because I'll have to do it again tomorrow!

But I'm going to a different place, because their selection was less than exciting.

Dinner plans and cancellations

So, Yeongam may be the most boring place in the world when there is no work to do.
Luckily, we have our old friends internet and television to keep us from going insane. Or, to drive us insane.
Here's a classic example of what we are very close to doing, ie, demonstrating to the world just how much free time we have on our hands(besides blogging, of course).
http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/korea/viewtopic.php?t=52538
Wow, the latent racism coming out, and it is scary. One good point that was made is that how when someone who has never been discriminated against is, they lash out ten times worse. And I will now confess on the internet for all to read, that I have done this more than a few times. I'm not proud, but when you've been laughed at all day, this is what happens. You lash out. Hard.

To pass the time, we have watched a lot of "Arrested Development", which is awesome. The show just keeps getting weirder and weirder. And better and better. They adopted a Korean kid, who kept saying "Annyong" (hello) and they thought it was his name. pretty brilliant stuff.

I thought of inviting some people over for dinner, and today was supposed to be the day. Unfortunately, Rodrigo was sick, so that put an end to our plans. Sucks.
Today, I got a call out of the blue from Steve Bird, who is work-free for the next few days, so it looks now like he will be coming with his girlfriend Crystal for the weekend. It should be nice for them(Steve is a pretty outdoorsy guy) to be out here in the mountains, so that'll be good.
I'm trying to reschedule the dinner for Friday, hopefully that'll happen, and we can all hang out together, but otherwise, we may head to the Speakeasy in Kwangju for dinner.
I'm excited, either way.

Whee!

My only worry is that Steve and Crystal will be frighteningly bored when they get here. Because they live in a big city, and we live in Yeongam.

Also, I'm thinking now of definitely signing on for another year. I know it sounds in this blog like I'm really down on Korea, but it's just because they make more entertaining writing, and the day to day stuff, which is quite mundane (we live in Yeongam) is usually not really worth mentioning.
So why sign again? you may be asking. Because I want to try a big city. A big big city. Seoul. or Busan. Kwangju, maybe, but why stay in the same place if I don't have to? All my friends will be leaving, as near as I can tell. So, let's have a change of venue, some more excitement.

That's all for now.

Spring!

So, yesterday, I took a walk.
I had been practicing guitar and had managed to bring my blister back out from under my new callus, and decided that it was time to stop. Jessie still wasn't feeling too hot, and I was stir-crazy, so I decided to head out for a stroll.
I went behind our building, which is an amazing place. In front of our building, there is a town, but behind our building, there is nothing but rice fields and graves. It is pretty amazing. I walked down the road, and one of the first things that struck me is that it is beautiful here. Even with the feilds all brown, the shape and contour of the land here is really beautiful, and the scattered graves give it a really mysterious quality. Also, for one of the first times this year, you could smell the soil, which is really nice. It's such an amazing thing when you realize that you are smelling dirt, because it is a commonplace thing that in a month will go totally unnoticed, like clementines in January. But the first time you smell on before Christmas, it has such an effect on you.
The little streams were all coming to life, with new algae and weeds, and the fields had all opened up and were traversible, so I wandered into them for a while as well. I really like walking through farmer's fields, I'm not sure why.
Then, I got home, and we watched about 2/3 of the first season of "Arrested Development", which is pretty good, and I encourage all to watch it. It's frustrating, it leaves you feeling like you just watched a Ben Stiller movie, but it's definitely owrth the agony.

That's all for now.

I've got blisters on my fingers!!!!!

So, I didn't play guitar at all in Thailand. Now, I'm back, and I want to start playing again. I have been really lazy about it, and kind of nervous, because we're in an apartment, and I don't want people to get pissed at the volume.
So, I don't play very often, and now I feel like I am losing it. Which is really not good. I'm not writing much either too, and I feel pretty apathetic about it most of the time. I need a good kick in the ass to get going, which is what I am trying to give myself right now.
So, in the last two days, I have done nothing but scales with the metronome for a few horus to try to get my finger coordination back, and also to finally teach myself some scales, which I've never done before. Unfortunately, all that it did is give me a huge blister on my pinky finger! What is up with that?! So now I have to back off for a few days.
ALso, I haven't been singing much, which means that it's a bit of a struggle, and I have lost a lot of strength. But at least my piano is coming along well! In about two years, I should be able to play and sing at the same time, which beats me by about 3 years on the guitar.

In other news, Jessie is really sick. She is not coughing or anything, but she was up all night last night running to the bathroom with really bad nausea. I thought maybe food poisoning, but the only thing she ate that I didn't was some brie, and that seems unlikely as a cause. She was fine today, just really draggy, so we had another really lazy day, and mostly Jessie just slept.
I went to the grocery store, and I ran into my favourite frade three student. He wants to be a doctor. He is incredibly nice, and very outgoing and driven. I bet he can be a doctor if he wants to be. He said hello, and we chatted for a minute (translation, we went through the "Hello, how are you?" script) and I congratulated him on his graduation, and I was really happy to see that he actually understood what I had said! So that was great!

Well, that's all for now. I'm not tired, but Jessie has gone ahead to bed. I'm not worried about getting up early tomorrow (holidays) so I really have no reason to try to go to sleep if I'm not tired... oh man, this is going to be a long holiday with no plans! whoo!

The long and winding road

I forgot to tell something quick:

On Tuesday, at the girls' school, one of the other teachers struggled to tell me that she liked my new haircut. I thought it was nice, and I tried to tell her that I cut it because it was hot in Thailand... "Hot... Thailand... haircut!". Needless to say, she did not understand. Mr Lee came to my rescue, and she gave an awkward laugh, and then returned to work. Mr Lee told me "She likes you!".
And then, he turned around, gave me a sly wink, said "I really mean it, it's true!"
It was really strange, I didn't know what he meant by it. I still don't.

On Wednesday, I taught two classes, and then I was told that I would have the afternoon off, but that there was a school dinner that I was invited to for all the teachers and staff. That was pretty great, I got to go home and have a nap beforehand. SukGyeong called at around quarter to five and came to pick me up. We went, as a group, to Gangjin, which is about half an hour away, to a traditional Korean restaurant.
For those of you who don't know, I will tell you:

TRADITIONAL KOREAN = RAW FISH

So, that was less than great. I was game though, I thought I would try everything, at least. A words of advice, DO NOT EAT RAW BLOWFISH. It actually hurts your mouth. The rest was okay, but not amazing. There was fresh-cut squid, which was wriggling around on my plate, and really reminded me of:

They were fresh cut tentacles, wriggling around, attaching to the plate, my chopsticks, and my teeth as I chewed. They really grab on, it was like trying to pull a suction cup off of a window, when you have to pull it to the edge to get it off, because you can't pull it off straight.

I made a few really bad gaffs, one being when my vice principal poured me a cup of soju. I did the correct head turn and cough...er, cover my drink and sip, but when he held out the bottle again and said "more?" I assumed he wanted to pour me another, so I chuggalugged and held out my cup again. Bad idea. He wanted me to pour for him, which I should have known would have been the right thing to do. Oh well...
Dinner went alright. I actually had a lot of fun! SukGyeong and I had an opportunity to catch up, which was great. And I actually am at a point where I catch some of what people are saying! Not a lot though. Definitely not a lot.
When the eating was over, SukGyeong left, and I was supposed to leave too, with another woman (from the admin office), but then the admin guys and the vice-principal decided that it would be better for me to stay and get pissed drunk. But I did not want to drink! So I just sat there with the office and cafeteria ladies while the admin guys got drunker and drunker. By that time, I was getting tired and I could not follow conversation anymore, but I did notice that the principal had pencilled in his eyebrows, which was cool by me. but funny.

I had the next day off, so I just sat around. I went to Kwangju, to buy some snacky western stuff, including some chicken-ham and bean with bacon soup. Jessie's school was having her dinner, and I managed to snag an invite, so I hopped on the bus, dropped off the food, and went to Samho to meet her. When I got there, we hung out in her english lab for a while, and crowded around the heater behind the desk. It was actually pretty nice, but it also would have been nice to not have had to crowd around the heat source.

It's called closing windows, Korea. Looks into it, it does wonder to save on your gas bills.

We got a ride to the restaurant with one of the young admon guys from the office. It was neat to be in the car with young people. It reminded me of my first days in France on exchange, piling into a car with no idea where we were going or what was happening/being discussed. But knowing that these werepeople that maybe I could relate to, if I knew how to. Unfortunately, I don't.
The restaurant was Japanese, so that meant more raw fish. Yay! I gave everything a cautious sniff before I put it in my mouth, which meant that I avoided another exposure to raw blowfish, which unfortunately made it past Jessie's defenses. Dinenr was pretty fun, and I had more fun with Hyeon-mi (Jessie's coteacher) than I remember ever having before. That is, until she started saying that I should come play guitar at a church event. Yikes, no thanks. If I do go to church, it won't be in Korea, and it won't be to perform to aid worshipping that I can't do myself right now.

But that's another rant entirely.

So we stuffed our faces with whatever was most edible, and I ate some things that I can't even describe, things with shells that were almost indistinguishable from the parts I was told to eat, and some things that were literally filled with shit on close inspection. And not even cooked shit, which I think I would be okay with.
We actually reached a state of contentment after a while, and at that point we were informed that it was the first course of about four, and by the way, they next course will be the best thing you've been served since you got to Korea! Too bad you're full!
Then, of course, there was the rice and soup course, which we had also not planned for, so that pretty much put us near the point of vomiting from being so full.

Today, Jessie was given the day off, so luckily she did not have to attend her school's graduation. The way she falls asleep in things, it's for the best, I mean, she fell asleep on a tuktuk inThailand, so there's no way she'd make it through all of the speeches at a Korean grad ceremony (especially given the Korean love of speech/recognition giving). We did absolutely nothing but lie around.
We watched 17 episodes of the American version of "The Office", which is surprisingly good, even compared against the British one! I didn't think it would come out as well, but they have done a really good job of it. Problem is, I keep thinking of Steve Carell as the 40-year old virgin (if you haven't seen it, watch it, and SIT THROUGH THE END CREDITS, it's totally worth it). I only got out of my pyjamas when at 4:40 I remembered that I had a piano lesson at 5:00. I made it a little late, but I left early, because I developed a headache, probably from dehydration(we'd run out of water the night before). When I got back, we finished off the remaining episodes, ate dinner, and now I am watching "I want to be a Hilton", which is just a horrible horrible show, it's like a car-wreck, you just can't look away.

Speaking of, I hate Tara Reid. I watched "Taradise" the other day (I was home, Jessie was not, I was bored, the TV was there), and it actually made me die a little inside. She is so unbelievably shallow and horrible and self-centered. What really got me was when she looked at an air-brushed photo of herself and sighed, saying "I'm so fat now, I wish I was this thin again!" But seriously, it was probably altered, so shut the hell up. She just irritated me so much, was so secure in the idea that anyone would give her anything she asked for, when she has no redeeming qualities demonstrated on the show, aside from the fact that she wanted to party and get laid. Wow, ambitions.

In other news, I am going to be signed up for another Athabasca University biology course, and I'm going to go for that second teachable over the next couple years. Maybe a third, if they ever offer another suitable course, maybe in physics.

Okay, that's all for now.

Electric Paul

God Bless you Korea, and your random spattering of holidays for me!
I have just been informed that I have the afternoon off (no classes) tomorrow off (Grade one middle school entrance exams) and Friday off (not sure why). It's so strange, because they are so strict about some things, and then they just say "Hey, go home now, we don't need you, and won't need you for two weeks."
Jessie's school of course is another story, and expect her to attened the entire week, with classes or not, and actually just threw her three extra classes today even though she usually has no Wednesday classes normal, and she was not informed until this morning. I'd be going out of my head in that situation. I'm pretty lucky that I have pretty progressive co-teachers/VPs who realize that I spend most of the day typing on my blog when I'm done planning, and they'd rather I did that at home.
This is quickly turning into a rant, even though that had not been my original intention.
So, I have taught two days now of this strange limbo week in the middle of holidays. Yesterday went pretty well, but in class I got the most reaction to my new jawline length sideburns and shaved head, which I had forgot I had, but it was still new and shocking to them. They don't really know how to react to sideburns, because most young people have to gell their normal hair down and comb it in front of their ears to look like they have sideburns. I just tell them "It was really hot in Thailand", which explains the short short hair, but not the sideburns, but it doesn't matter, because they don't know how to follow up.
They just dance around going"E-Paul, E-Paul", which means "haircut", even though I had originally thought they were nicknaming me "Electric Paul".
My lesson consisted of asking "What did you do on your winter holiday?" (with it written on the board, of course, for those students with poor listening skills, staring into a hideous void for about a minute, with not a single answer coming, and then saying "Well, I travelled to Thailand!" and launching into a slideshow.
Mostly they enjoy the picture of me in the butterfly cutout and the monkey cutout, which I made kid-friendly with a blackbox over the moneky penis. They would not have cared, but I think it is hilarious to have a black box and a painting of a monkey penis.
There is another picture of me in the Chinatown market in Bangkok where I look like I have quite a belly (accurately) and it looks like I am pregnant. One of the girls at the girls' school yelled "Three months!", which I think is pretty funny. I was allowed to go home at noon (after lunch, which was a surprisingly non-offensive stew), and I ran into most of my grade six girls on the way. They were going to the girls' school to write their Grade one entrance exams, which I sincerely hope are more of a formailty than anything. They were all excited to see me ("E-Paul, E-Paul") and to hear that I would still be their teacher at the girls' school. I also found out (good news) that I will be working mostly with Mr Lee this semester, and that I will only be in one or two grade one classes with Mr Hyun. Mr Hyun is really nice, but he just is not very helpful in the classroom.
Maybe it'll be easier to be friendly with him when he isn't fumbling with his help all the time.
We got together with the Ryus last night, and they really seemed to like their little elephant from Thailand. They also had a pizza waiting, which was from what is probably the better pizza place in town, but unfortunately after a week of gourmet wood fire oven pizzas in Ao Nang, it just didn't cut it. I wound up having a bagel for dinner when we got home.
I'm back at the boys' school today, and I am reminded of the frustration, as the computer didn't work in the classroom, and almost spoiled my lesson. But finally, it worked, and luckily, we didn't have to play hangman all day.
I'm actually pretty happy today, and I have all this time off now, which is great, AND there is a teacher dinner this evening, which is sometimes fun (recall the social studies teacher's remark "I don't know how to love you!").

That's all for now.

First adventure back home

So, I have the day off today. It's been pretty great, I slept in until almost ten thirty (poor Jessie had to leave at seven thirty), and then just surfed the net and played my gameboy. I didn't even shower until almost one, and that was about when I finally got around to eating too.
After showering, I set out to do my only real chore for the day, to pay the bills!
My first thought coming out into the Korean Spring was that it was surprisingly warm! It is spring! So that was very nice.
I ran into some students, and they positively freaked out! I guess they thought we had moved or something, because they just lit up when I came around a corner and they saw me! Same with last night, as we walked home from the grocery store (our cupboards were bare), and some kids from our building saw us and bolted towards us, and all asked us "Where are you going?", because that is what they knew how to say. They looked really happy to see us, and combined with the young guys who waved at Jessie from a passing truck on the busride into Yeongam, we had a pretty good welcome.
When I got to the bank, the only teller at the counter was busy, so I just hung back and waited. Another came to the counter, and then the busy one waved me forward, so I didn't know who to go to, so I went to the non-busy one after some wild hand-gesturing. They were all giggling (3 counter ladies by this point) and blushing, which was really weird.
I showed her the bills and said "chibul", or payment, at which point they laughed, and all crowded around to check them out.
One girl actually fell out of her chair, because she tried to sit down but would not take her eyes off of me. They added up all the bills (marvelling at our very high gas bill) and told me the total in Korean. I had already calculated it at home, so I handed them some bills, and they ran them through the counter. When they saw it was the right amount, they all gave me a look of approval, like I had just spelled "gestation" at the junior spelling bee.
Then the boss at a desk said "Hello" and everyone laughed.
They handed me my change, and I said "Gamsa hamneida" (thank you) and headed for the door.
The boss said "Bye!", I said "Bye!" and then the ladies laughed and blushed again.

Korea is fun sometimes. I'm glad to be back right now.

Trip Home

So, the trip home was nothing short of an adventure.
We hopped into a cab around 2 and headed to Krabi International Airport. We got there plenty early, and had a seat in the basement to wait for our plane. We sat in the sweltering heat, waiting for our boarding call. Then, we realized that the door had been open all along, and the rest of the passengers were all waiting in there in cool air-conditioned comfort. Damn!
We got to Bangkok Airport, and we tried to get rid of our stuff so that maybe we could do something out and about without huge bags to carry around.
Unfortunately, we couldn't, so we were stuck with our bags, and it sucked. We walked up to the food court, and heard someone calling Jessie's name!
It was Vanessa and Carole-Anne from the UNESCO camp, waiting for their return flight to Korea. We sat with them for a while, and chatted about our vacations, as they were just coming back Singapore and Thailand. We had a merry little chat.
Then Jessie and I began finishing up some postcards. We were working away, and I realized I was one stamp short, so I went down to pick one up from the post office. I got there, and FREAKED, because the line to check in was miles long. Also, at the post office, there was a guy with a bag of about 60 small packages, each of which had to be individually weighed and stamped. After some snooping, I determined that he had decided to send everyone he knew in the world a (wait for it) belt. That's right, a belt. wow.
I got the stamp, and went back upstairs. On the way, I passed a currency exchange counter, so I figured that I had might as well convert my baht to won while I was there (it seems tedious, but it'll be significant later). When I got back to our seats, Jessie was gone! All our stuff was gone! Luckily, a note that Jessie had left for me had been left there long enough for me to find it, and I caught up to her (and all our bags, which she had somehow managed to carry) at the bathroom.
Anyways, we finished our postcards quickly, and went to get in line. I thought we were doing alright for time, but I did not realize how long we had spent just waiting around and writing post cards. We only had about an hour and twenty minutes until our flight! With a huge line head of us!We ran down and got in the line. Well, it was not much of a line. There were the few honest folks who attempted to make a line, and then the others who just walked by and around, wherever there was room, to bud in front. After about five minutes of watching people jump in front of us and felling as though we were being pushed backwards, we joined the jumpsters and filed by the "line".
From where we budded, it was almost a line, so we felt a little more confident. Then, after a while, we noticed that almost every line was moving except ours! We only had forty minutes left!
It turns out that our flight had been double booked for many seats, so they were having to deal with that. How they did, I have no idea, but luckily, after a few phonecalls by the person we were dealing with, we were waved on. Right about then, we noticed that our flight had been delayed by about 25 minutes. We started towards the gate, only to encounter a booth where we had to pay a 500 baht "Passenger Service Fee". Jessie had no baht, and I had just converted mine, and they refused to let me pay in won. So, I had to go back to the currency counter and exchange money back! What a hassle!
We got past the booth, and encountered more lines! These ones were pretty long, and showed similar signs of complete non-movement. Even with the delay, we were cutting things really close. To make matters worse, we were in front of a huge biker guy who had not seen a bar of soap in a couple of days. Luckily, the line was the only place where we had to be beside him for a long period of time. I'd hate to have had to sit beside him all the way to Seoul. But at least I would not have had to be worried or self-conscious of my own smell... oh well. We finally got out, and ran to our gate, where we encountered yet another line, that was not moving. We were the last two people let in the doors (because there was no room left in the waiting area), but when our line ceased to move (people piled in, formed a second line that merged ahead of us), the people who had been behind us were through the x-ray scanner before we were even half-way. ARGH!
When we got to the counter, we had to turn in our passports and other info to the ladies there, who took notes on it, as we tapped our toes and freaked out. But we had made it by then, there's no way we would have been allowed to miss the plane for that reason.

From then on, everything was good, until we got woken up at 4/6 am for disgusting fish breakfast. Just let me sleep! Gah!

It was funny, as Jessie has been saying through our whole trip, that whereas most Canadians visit Thailand for a foreign experience, it was a little taste of the west for us. Korea is so cut-off compared to Thailand, which is just crawling with tourists. Everyone there knows enough english that I did not say a single word of Thai during our entire trip, except for "Chang" when we sang the elephant song.
There was this angry hippy on our first night in Ao Nang who went on this loud and really offensive rant about how when he started coming to Krabi and Ao Nang, things had been so different, the locals would take him into their house, and it was not a resort town. He said he knew the dream was over the day he saw his first baby stroller. Of course, he gestured to one nearby as he said this, and since I heard him (and I don't hear a lot), I imagine that most of the restaurant would have heard him basically telling them that he was unwelcome in "his" tropical paradise.
But, the bottom line is, there are still a lot of non-touristed areas, where he could just as easily pitch his tent and not have to deal with "us". At first, I was a little put off by the fact that there were more tourists than Thais, which was a little weird. But after we realized that soon we would be returning to nothing but Korean food, Korean culture and Korean friends, it was time to embrace the west! We ate a lot of Italian, and we enjoyed the fact that we did not have to strain and struggle the most basic ideas.

Well, we finally got home, unpacked, I made some penne and tomato sauce, and then I washed my laundry, and stained all my clothes when my new pants ran.

And, I have one more day off, I just found out. I called MinAhn, and he said "You must be tired, so you should stay home and rest. No debate, no "Are you tired?" Just, stay home, baby.

All right.

Bye bye Thailand

I would like to officially upgrade my annoyance at the suit people to the "anger" level.

Thai tailors, you are officially on notice!

Yesterday was a pretty strange day.
We woke up and got ready for our five island tour. We were pretty excited, because our kayaking tour had been so awesome the day before. We were still waiting outside at 9:00 for our 8:30 pick-up, so I walked over to our ticket agent (the nextdoor guest house from where we had moved) and asked what the problem was. She got on the phone, yelled in Thai, and then told us it would be two minutes.
She was right! A truck roared up the drive, packed with tourists, and we hopped in the back. Problem was, they were all four-island tours, and we were five! When we got dropped off, we were grabbed by the arm and ushered into a pre-loaded boat that was already waiting. Whee!
Our first destination was Hong island. We were boated into a lagoon, which was just beautiful. The water was shallow and green, and there were very steep 200 m tall walls all around us.
Then, we were taken around the island for a swim! Yay! It was a national park, the water was beautiful and crystal clear and blue, and the weather was just gettinghot enough for an ideal late morning swim (since it had taken about an hour to boat out there, it was now late morning).
Then, we were informed that we would have to pay 200 bath to get out of the boat and swim. Since most of us had not brought money to our inclusive tour (so we had been told) most of us coudl not swim (I brought money, but I felt more at home in the angry mob). It took about five minutes for our "guides" (who told us nothing about the places where we were, although they did sing really nicely) to realize that we wanted to leave (surely, they had had this problem on previous tours), so they brought us around the islandto a shaded beach that was much less aweosme and picturesque, but was at least free.

Then, we went to another island, that adjoined to another island. That counts as two!
It was beautiful and picturesque though. I was snorkelling a little bit, and I saw some starfish! Cool, I thought, let's check this OUT!
I swam a little closer, and thought, wow, I wonder how they react to current! Let's stir things up a bit!
I proceeded to swirl the water with my hand, creating an impenetrable blanket of dust. When it finally cleared, I came to the horrible realization that I was in fact standing on about a quarter inch of sand that stood on a layer of overlapping starfish!
How many lives I had taken that day, I can only guess.
Before that though, we were given our included lunch. Hardly the spread we had had the previous day (six dishes), it was rice and chicken in styrofoam, which I guess is acceptable for a boat cruise, so I'm not complaining, just contrasting. We took our lunch out to eat on what looked like a beautiful little secluded sandy beach. Unfortunately, when we got out there, it turned out to be a horrible type of stone that was covered in little razor sharp points, and we had left our sandals on the boat.
We went to another island, which was neat, but really just more of the same at the point... load your stuff, get off the boat, lie down on the beach, swim, walk around... I may be getting vacationed out at this point.
On the way to the fifth island, a storm came up, which was not fun in a long tail boat, let me tell you. The waves were crashing over the sides (hide your digital cameras!) and the boat rocked pretty threateningly. The water that had been so warm to swim in became very cold in the wind, and no-one was surprised when we all decided to go home rather than do anymore snorkelling.

After our ill-fated island tour, we went back to our hotel to watch another DVD and rinse the salt out of every possible orifice. We watched this random indy film they happened to be selling here, called "American Chai". It was a really good movie, acutally, about an Indian growing up in America, who wants to play music, but his parents want him to be a doctor.
Then, dinner. Jessie had said she had never had lobster, so I offered to treat. Gotta spend those bath! And man, did I. haha! Lobster is not cheap, but it sure is garlicky! It was really good. I had garlic and butter stir-fried mussels, so by the end of the meal, neither of us wanted anything to do with the other (because garlic makes your breath stink, dumdum).
We packed everything up, and this morning we had a sleep-in and lunch at this Italian place we have been frequenting here. Now, it's just amatter of waiting for the plane to come, because everything is packed, and, as I have said, we are pretty vacationed out.
Well, that's all for now.
I'm off to get some more water! Whee!

It has been a busy couple of days!
First off, let me just say that Ao Nang is HOT. Most of our time seems to be spent hiding in our "air-con" room, which we upgraded to after our first night. The little rustic cottage was nice, but being woken up by Ciccadas and branches/leaves rubbing/falling on/sliding down the corrugated metal roof after we finally mamanged to forget how hot we were and drift off to sleep was less than great.
On Tuesday, we had no plans, so we slept in. Then, we went downtown, which is basically half blackmarket bags/DVDs/gameboys and half Indian/Nepalese guys tryign to sell you custom-tailored suits. Here's how they do it:
"I'll make you nice suit."
Now, at first, I was polite, with a "No thanks, comrade!"
Then, they switched to "Hi there! Where are you from?"
I can't resist bragging, so I'd say "Canada! Where are you from?"
"India! I'll make you nice suit."
No thanks.
Now, I just avoid eye contact, or say "not interested"
They seem to have caught on, so now they say "Hello, nice to meet you!", and they hold out their hand for a handshake.
I'm not going to be rude (that is to say, I can't ignore the hand, it literally KILLS me) so I shake it, and then I get roped into a conversation that lasts way too long considering that I know it will end with "I'll make you nice suit", and then a five minute debate in which I will have to defend my decisions not to buy any suits/jackets/pants/coats/shirts/ties/socks/underwear/garters/tie pins.
On the way home on Tuesday, we wound up renting a DVD player, and buying half a dozen blackmarket DVDs. It's a great way to get through the hottest part of the day without wanting to kill yourself. Well, except for this one movie, called "Palindromes" (Jessie's pick), that, while it was good, was so horribly disturbing I almost didn't sleep that night.

At least it wasn't as bad as Hustle and Flow... which we didn't even get through twenty minutes of.

So anyways, yesterday we had a horseback riding tour booked. It seemed like kind of a neat/unusual way to see some country side that otherwise we probably would not experience.
We got picked up at 9 am, and shuttled for half an hour by two Thai Bob Marleys, including one who had travelled to Canada to, as he put it, "follow his destiny" (read: spread some seed with Canadians chicks, I think). They were pretty funny though, and nice. They tried pretty hard to speak english to us, even though we had just woke up, and I didn't have my usual english as a second language filter up yet.
When we got there, we were introduced to our trusty steeds for the day. Jessie got a small horse, that was a little agitated. I got an even smaller horse, that could really only be described as "mangy".
Since we have no riding experience, we were led for the majority of the walk. It was actually a very very beautiful walk. There were some young foals on the beach loose who followed us, including one named "Happy", who stayed with us the entire walk , and routinely nipped at my horse (Smile) or my hat/shoulder. We saw some huge spiders, which were really cool, and our "stable hands", for lack of better word, were more than happy to grab them and hold them up for us to get a good look. We rode through pineapple and rubber plantations, which were really neat to see. We also rode through palm oil farms. The countryside was beautiful, the guys leading us were pretty funny and nice, and we even got to venture into a giant cave full of bats in the side of one of the many tall limestone cliffs that surround us.
The downside is, my ass is killing me.
Today, we went kayaking through mangrove forests. Our guide was hilarious, and he reminded me of my old housemate Sarib a lot. We started with a morning trip to two caves. The first was a cave that is only accessible at high tide. At low tide, there is not enough water to get through the passage, which was an amazing cave full of stalactites (stalagmites?) that was long enough to be dark in the middle. The name meant "sea room cave", which was fitting, because on all sides there were very high and steep limestone walls.
The other two caves were more of the same, but they opened into what appeared to only be more river, not a cut off area. Unfortunately, it was not an exploring tour, so we'll never know.
The last cave was one with prehistoric painting. It was really neat! They are very well preserved, because the paintings were done on areas of wall that are now too high to reach, so they were never destroyed or vandalized. I took a lot of pictures, so there will be some documentation appearing within a few days.
The neatest thing though, I think, was the number of crabs and mudskippers there were everywhere around on the banks. There were so many different kinds of crabs, even. There were fluorescent blue ones, ones with a huge claw and a small claw, hermit crabs, crabs with colourful back designs... and mud skippers, running and swimming all around with equal ease. It was very very interesting to see.
After the kayaking was over, we were taken to another national park for a swim. It was the nicest place! The water was cool (for Thailand), very fast flowing, and full of jagged rocks. But, it still managed to be the greatest place on earth. The water was crystal clear, and you could see fish swimming all around your feet. There were mangrove roots hanging over the banks to help you navigate your way up or downstream, and even a place where you could swim under the roots rather than stepping over rocks. It was really beautiful.
Well, I think I should call it a night. Have a good one folks!
(Tomorrow: five island tour and snorkelling)

ELEPHANT PICTURES!

This is from the elephant walk, which was on Tuesday, I think. It was at "elephant pace", ie, very slow. This is one of the more postcard-esque photos. This is at the end of the walk, when the elephants were allowed to roam up the hills and forage. This is one of the under one year old babies.

Here are our sweet accomodations. Our door is actually right in the middle there. One the other side is the main field of the park, which meant great elephant views in the mornings.

This is feeding time, I believe on the first day. As you can see, it's pretty crazy and crowded on the deck once the trunks start reaching.

This is right after the elephant feeding, with Martha and Terry in the background waiting to be fed. On the right is our buffet, with collanders to keep the flies away (note the lounging dogs).

ELEPHANTS!

Hey everyone!
I am currently in AoNang, Thailand. I just arrived today, and found a lot of GPHYers had been e-mailing updates. I'm glad ot hear that everyone is still alive. Books - if Memoirs of a Geisha the book is better, read it NOW, because the movie was so good I actually considered trying to become a Geisha. Also, Teacher Man, which I haven't read, but I have heard that it will make you cry.
For the whole vacation story, check out my blog. I'll pick up with last Sunday.
Jessie and I were in Chiang Mai, which is pretty far North, but is incredibly touristy. On Sunday, we did a temple tour (three temples), which ended with Wat Su Mong, a forest temple, where an Australian monk gave an informal talk on Buddhism that was really interesting. The temples in Chiang Mai are much older (it is an ancient capitol) and seeing them all would take years (there are something like 180 within the square of the old city, which takes about 25 minutes to walk across, to give you an idea). So we just picked three temples that sounded the coolest.
In the afternoon we went to the Chiang Mai Night Safari, which was awesome. It had a lake with small enclosures for small animals and some bigger ones that were unfinished (it only opened this month) and a nice boardwalk that took about an hour to walk around. As we were leaving the bird enclosure, the door jammed, and when I finally jerked it closed, it slammed really loudly, and woke up all the slumbering birds. They squawked really loudly and Jessie and I ran away from embarrassment. The ride was really cool. Because it was night, you could not see many of the fences, so it felt like Hyenas were really just walking around the car. That feeling was made even more real by the fact that there were many animals on the route that were not in enclosures and just walked right in the road, including ostriches, some of which looked like you could touch from your seat in the tram.
AFter that we went to the Sunday Walking/craft market. There I made my big purchase for the trip, a Thai guitar. I have no idea how to play it, but it will be my project when I return to Korea. It is really intricately carved, but it actually plays too. If nothing else, at least it'll looks good hanging on the wall.
I followed that with a second big purchase... a gameboy advance. Now I'll have something to entertain myself with after classes are done at school, without having to fork over $400 for a PSP2.

We got up early on Monday morning, because that was the first day of our week at "Elephant Nature Park". That place was amazing. There were seven other volunteers, and by the end, we had had just enough time together to start to annoy eachother. There was Nancy, the 58-year old elephant lover whose globetrotting adventures led to many interesting stories, and whose worldwide chasing of elephant-viewing opportunities amazed us all. There were Terry, Kate, and Martha, three Canadians living in China who were just really awesome and fun to hang out with, and who drew out my most sarcastic side constantly. And there was Lucinda, the lone American traveller, whose travels rivalled even Nancy's.
There were thirty-one elephants at the park, ranging in age from one month to 85 years! They were all rescued from abusive situations, from trekking companies that over-worked them (to the point where the babies died of exhaustion), logging camps (where one elephant was blinded with elastics in one eye for being "lazy", and then blinded in the other with an arrow when it refused to work), and mine fields along the Burmese border. I learned a lot about the way they interact (they form family groups, and non-mothers become aunties to babies and even to blind adults!) and their incredible intelligence and emotion (did you know that elephants will commit suicide when depressed by standing on their trunk, or kill their babies in abusive situations (perhaps to "save" them)?). Being a volunteer was not exactly "taxing". We slept until about 8:30 or so every day, and then had breakfast. We worked on a mudpit for three days in the morning, and then stopped when the food truck arrived. That was the hard part. It was usually anywhere from half an hour to 45 minutes of moving huge bags of fruits and vegetables to be cleaned and cut for the elephants, and then distributing them. That was a lot fo work, but then it was time to feed the elephants! Some couldn't wait, and would reach over the deck to grab their basket (or whichever one was nearest). I fed SomBoom three times. Her Mahoot (handler) and I had to carry her food way out into the field, because she was fighting with one of the new elephants, and wouldn't eat near her. One day she wouldn't eat at all.
There was another elephant who only got four pieces of pineapple, because she refused to eat anything else! It was realy funny, actualy, because she would pick through huge piles of pumpkins, pull out a pineapple rind, and then walk away. There was another elephant that was in must (a heightened sexual period that happens when elephants are happy and healthy) that unfortunately made him dangerous to the others, so he was chained at the far end of the property. It might sound cruel, but the typical solution here is to starve them until they are too unhealthy for must and then to send them back to work. There was the land-mine victim who was auntie to the newest baby, and whose bad leg was constantly swinging back and forth, no matter what she was doing.
On our first day, the introductory speech was interrupted by a huge racket from accross the field. An elephant was trumpeting and talking, and sounded pretty panicked! A second elephant began running accross the field towards her, and talked to her (high pitch squeaking) and they wrapped their trunks and rubbed against eachother. The one who called first was the blind elephant, and the one who ran to her was her new friend who took care of her at the park.
After the elephants ate, we ate. Lunch was a huge buffet of fifteen or so dishes, every day! It was so good... So good.
After lunch, we led the elephants to the river, where we bathed them. We got into the cool, fast-moving river that surrounded the camp and then got our buckets and brushes and went to work! That was a lot of fun! I'll post some pictures to my blog as soon as I get home!
There was another elephants named Max who is the tallest elephant in Thailand. He was head and shoulders above the rest. He was a victim of a traffic accident in Bangkok. Some Mahoots take their elephants into the city, and tell tourists that their elephants will starve unless they buy fruit from them to feed it. Anyways, it's really bad, because elephants get freaked out by the city, and may even go deaf. Max was unfortunately hit by an eighteen wheeler, and now ambles aruond the park pretty slowly.
After the elephants have had their bath, we all move back to our cabins to nap/read/rest. It gets really hot even that far north in the midday, so there's no way that anyone was going to do work.
Around five, the elephants would have their second bath of the day. I actually made it to the second bath only once in my whole first week, because the naps just went way too long.
We had these great little huts, with thatched roofs and bamboos floors. It was very rustic, and the wind blew through them like nothing at night (which was surprisingly cold!). Every once in a while, at night, we would be awoken by the trumpeting of a frightened elephants, followed by the barking and howling of the Park's 40 dogs. And then... the cold bucket showers. yikes.
Then, we stumble to dinner, which is another huge, amazing meal, with a lot of choice, and it's more fun, because you get to actually talk to the staff, because they aren't taking care of the day trippers.
The staff were pretty great, actually. There was a woman named Michelle, who actually reminded me a LOT of my friend Jane, to the point where I may have cracked a couple of jokes that were overly familiar because I felt so comfortable so quickly, she was so much like Jane in both looks and personality. Her husband was Carl, and he was actually the only non-Thai mahoot, and was the Mahoot for Max. He had a lot of good stories, and was really friendly. Pom (spelling?) was another woman who worked at the park, and she was Koran (spelling?), which is a local Thai hill tribe.
Pom led us on our trip to elephant haven on Tuesday night. It was a two-hour trek from the Park to the haven, which was up on the side of a mountain. There was a big cabin up there, and we all hung out for the night with "Jungle Boy"'s family overnight. Jungle Boy was a young "tusker", about five or six years old. There were the seven of us week-long volunteers, as well as a Danish family. Their kids were hilarious, and we invented a game called "grabber monkeys", which basically involved me walking around with one on each leg until their dad yelled at them. FUN!
In the morning we had to hike up the mountain to find them. The whole point of the haven is basically to let the elephants go and feed freely, so sometimes it takes more than two hours to finally track them down! Luckily, we fonud them in about half an hour, because it was REALLY hot, and we still had a long walk (including a scary Indiana Jones-esque bridge) ahead of us.
Elephant Nature Park is an experiment, to see if "natural" elephants can be used as a tourist attraction like they are in Africa . We learned about "Pajong", which is a torture procedure that is performed on elephants to "break" them, which involves putting them in a small enclosure and stabbing them for five to seven days. The mortality rate for this procedure is about 50%, although the government apparently officially denies that it exists. Logging was the elephants' main use, but it was banned in 1989, so the elephants were switched to tourist vehicles, and they needed a way to tame them quickly. Domestic elephants are considered livestock here, so they have no laws in place to protect them. The numbers of wild elephants are greatly exaggerated, so when a livestock animal dies or is killed, they just go get another one and "break" it.
A lot of the elephant-related attractions that appear harmless here actually have brutal training methods (knives in the trunk to teach painting) or enforcement (knives in the reins to prevent them from turning too fast and startling tourists). One of the elephants at the Park, Lily, was actually fed amphetamines by her former owner so that she could keep working past exhaustion.
In the park, there is no riding (except for the children) and no tricks. You just get to see how elephants act in their natural way, which is actually pretty entertaining in itself, and is a big money maker with African elephants.
Our big project as volunteers was a mud pit. It took much longer to make than our original estimates, and tempers were flaring and egos were clashing (quote: "This is why construction sites have foremen"), but on Sunday, we finally got to see our hours of hoeing and digging rock hard dirt pay off.
All the babies got in on the action, and a few of the moms and aunties too. It was pretty hilarious, and Terry, for whom the pit had become a personal crusade got right in there, smearing the babies and pushing them over in the pit. They were surprisingly flexible, and it was hilarious to see them chasing eachother and slipping in the mud. Nancy and Martha both cried, and Terry was beaming more than I had thought humanly possible.

And I forgot to mention Steve! He was a really cool Australian guy, who it turns out repaired sewing machines, which was a big surprise, because he was the butchest guy in history. He offered to put us all up if we came to Australia, and was great to cut someone down when they were getting ahead of themselves. Never hurtful, just really smart and honest. Great guy.

What will I miss most about the park, you might ask. Well, it's not the elephants. It is the dogs. Those were such nice dogs, they followed us everywhere, and they were playful, and there was one for every mood. Old dogs, puppies, hungry dogs and sleepy dogs. And there was one in particular, who followed us to the haven, and fell asleep on my leg at night. Very nice. And such a break from the shell-shocked dogs in Korea.

Yesterday, we said goodbye to Nancy and Lucinda, and we decided to stay in the same place as our new Canadian friends, Terry, Kate and Martha. It was pretty swank, but it was nice to have air conditioning and hot showers after our week in a jungle hut. We all went out for Gyros, and shopped at the Sunday craft market (no more guitars). We ended off in the night market, where I filled out my growing collection of Thai/red bull shirts. Seriously, that is the coolest logo ever.

So now we are in Ao Nang. It's a bit of a culture shock, as here the tourists outnumber the Thais about 50 to 1. We are hoping to get out of here for the days at least, and I think that I am about shopped out, so the markets aren't too appealing to me anymore.
Tomorrow, we are going to try to go hiking on an island (take a longboat taxi out), and maybe rent a scooter for the afternoon/evening. On Wednesday, we will be horseback riding on the beaches and through some country side, which should be pretty amazing. We're also looking into a kayak tour of some beach caves, where Thais used to live, and they have left some cave paintings behind. Also, there are monkeys. Yes!

Well... that's all for now. I'm kind of screwed... I think that my bank thinks my card is stolen, because it will not let me withdraw any more money... so how I will pay for the next few days is a mystery. Credit cash advance? I hope not.

Pictures will be posted as soon as I find a computer with a CD rom!