The English McGyver (almost)

Now, I know what you are thinking.
"Don't you mean James Bond?"
No, I don't, you idiot.
Allow me to tell you a story about teaching English in Korea.
Yesterday I had a class. It was a good class, but what made it really great was that when it was over, it was lunch time.
Class ended. I had left MSN messenger on during class by accident, so I noticed a little flashing message at the bottom of the screen when I looked down. I wanted to respond to the message before I went to lunch, but my other coteacher (see "The Other Coteacher" post [scroll near the bottom]) was waiting, because on Tuesdays I eat with him.
I said "I'm going to write a message, can I meet you in one minute?"
He said "Yes." But he just stood there.
I said "I will meet you in the cafeteria."
He said "Yes, lunchee." But he just stood there.
I said "I have to write an e-mail, you should go ahead."
"Okay." He turned and left.
Two seconds later, he reappeared.
"Lunch time?" he asked.
"Yes, but I still have to write the message!"
"Oh. I will cafeteria meet you."
"Oh, thanks. Good idea!"
Then he left.

So Korea, listen. I may have found the weakness in your english education formula. It seems that your English teachers don't speak English. I know it is hard, but it explains a lot of the problems that I have been having with teaching conversation. It also explains why it seems that the students don't recognize simple english commands that I use in the classroom. It's because their teachers do not understand either.

Now, I know. I am teaching in Korea, so I should know how to speak Korean. It would make thigns a lot easier, and would probably make me a much more effective teacher. But let me inform you of one very important fact.

I would not dream of teaching Korean if I could not speak Korean.

Lunch was also a giant ball of fun. This is a man who, after seven months of working together, still inquires at lunch "You don't like Korean kimchi?"
Actually, I don't like any kimchi.
The gem of the meal was "Korean's food different your country's food, I think." Other than that, conversation was non-existent.

You know how on McGyver, there's always a desperate and nearly hopeless situation, and it seems like nothing could possibly get McGyver off that prop altar with the giant medieval torture axe slowly descending as it swings over his head? Yeah, of course you do.
Now, also on the scene are these random, seemingly useless pieces of crap scattered about. But after tying his shoelaces together with his feet and lobbing them through the air, he knocks over a mop, which hits the on button on a giant industrial fan that rolls over and cuts the ropes that bind him just as the axe reaches a lethal height, and he escapes.
Wow, what a resourceful guy!
Now, my other coteacher is a lot like McGyver. The axe hanging over his head is conversation with me. The random, seemingly useless pieces of crap scattered around the room are the vocabulary words that he hasn't even looked at outside the classroom since he got his ENGLISH DEGREE at unversity.
The difference though, is that McGyver got the job done, and the other coteacher is still waiting at the door. Also, McGyver got a lot of smoking hot eighties chicks.